Post subject: TARTAN ARMY TO THE RESCUE!!!
6 TROOPERS ARRIVING TOMMOROW TO SAVE YOU ALL!!!
CRAP FOOD?
WE HAVE ENDLESS SUPPLY OF HAGGIS NEEPS AND TATTIES TO FILL YOUR MALNOURISHED STOMACHS TO THE BRIM.
WARM BEER?
WE WILL BRING LOTS OF WHISKY SO WE CAN FILL UP THE DUCK INFESTED POND, IT WILL SERVE TWO PURPOSES 1) IT WILL DISENFECT THE MOTHER 2)WE CAN ALL SWIM AND GET PISSED AT THE SAME TIME.
COLD SHOWER'S?
WHO GIVES A HIGHLAND FLING? WE SHOWER IN THE FREEZING WATERFALLS OF THE GLENS IN SCOTLAND SO ANY RAISE IN TEMPERATURE FROM -4 IS A BONUS!!!
LACK OF BOG ROLL?
WE ARE BRINGING LOADS OF HEATHER IT REALLY GETS IN ALL THE NOOKS AND KRANNIES AND LEAVES YOUR HOOP AS CLEAN AS A WHISTLE!!!
LACK OF FUN?
WELL WE CANNY HELP OUT IF EVERYBODY IS MISERABLE, BUT WE CAN SHOW YOU ALL HOW TO DRINK AND DANCE THE GAY GORDONS...
